For a moment I thought I'd spoken too soon by already announcing the winner of The Most Inane Campaign/Commercial Of The Year Award (Category: Targeting Baby Boomers). After all, we have six months to go.
But, no. The winner is still securely crowned. Although Frito-Lay's goofy TrueNorth bags o' nuts briefly rattled my confidence:
Nuts for Boomers
By Todd Wasserman
The snack food category is known for being several things, but inspirational? Frito-Lay thinks it can be and is positioning its new nut-based, Boomer-targeted snack line, True North as "a truly inspired natural nut snack."
I guess healthy isn't good enough branding anymore. You need transcendental positioning. It has to be healthy and walk on water.
"We're defining it as a purpose in life or a calling," she said of the brand's name. "Our calling was to bring inspiration to the nut category."
What's driving me nutty is that she didn't call me for some inspiration. I meditated on it and within minutes had a bunch of positioning epiphanies. Pick your favorite slogan cum mantra (or make up your own):
Nirvana never tasted so good!
He eats them. Do you?
A Meaning of Life in every bag! Pistachios, Almonds, Clusters, Crunches, or Crisps! Collect all five! Trade with your friends!
Across the pond, Dick Stroud bemoans his lack of purpose in life because he can't partake of the passion and do extraordinary things.
Nuts To You: A Haiku